|
|
BUSINESS HUMOUR
Point
Counter Part
At a recent
computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like
the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars
that get 1,000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to
Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had
developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:
-
For no reason
whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
-
Every time
they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
-
Occasionally
your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept
this, restart and drive on.
-
Occasionally,
executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut
down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
engine.
-
Only one
person at a time could use the car, unless you bought “Car 95” or “Car
NT”. But then you would have to buy more seats.
-
Macintosh
would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as
fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of
the roads.
-
The oil,
water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
single “general car default” warning light.
-
New seats
would force everyone to have the same size butt.
-
The airbag
system would say “Are you sure?”
-
Occasionally
for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let
you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key,
and grab hold of the radio antenna.
-
GM would
require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road
maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want
them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s
performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a
target for investigation by the Justice Department.
-
Every time GM
introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all
over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner
as the old car.
-
You’d
press the “start” button to shut off the engine.
 Back to
Top
 Back to Resources Page
|
|
|
